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1. Ride a mechanical bull.

2. Be a groupie and get a backstage pass. (not the slutty kind, just the kind that loves the music)

3. Go camping, real camping.

4. Get tattoo

5. Take road trip.

6. Go skinny dipping.

7. Write that book.

8. Take over a dive bar.

9. Participate in open mic night.

10. Find a job, that I love.

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« Fantasy Smoke Break: David Bowie in Labrynth | Main | Fantasy Smoke Break: Frank the Tank »
Thursday
Nov052009

Fantasy Smoke Break~Levi Johnston

Today I would like to go on a fantasy smoke break with none other than Levi Johnston AKA: Sarah Palin's Grand-baby's daddy.

He's been in the news a lot lately. First he went to some awards show with Kathy Griffin, and now he is going to pose for playgirl. There was a lot of talk of whether or not he would show the peen. NOW ITS OFFICIAL, he's totally going to let the world gaze upon his fertile wand.

I for one couldn't be more pleased. I haven't seen a playgirl worth buying since I was babysitting in high school and I came accross one with Brett Michaels in it. I invited all my friends over while we dissected the issue, and ate all of the food in the house. Parents hide your porn, the babysitters are looking for it.

Anywhoo, the question of whether or not he is packing will be answered by the holiday issue, tis the rumor. Also he has been getting ready for his issue by hitting the gym and eating a lot of high protein low fat moose meat. No word on whether or not he plans on using a penis pump.

I'm pretty sure Levi has smoked a time or two, so I don't think the concept of smoking is as foreign to him as the concept of birth control. While on our break I would ask him the following questions:

1. Are you a real person?

2. Are you ever scared that Sarah Palin is standing outside your window in full camo watching you through the sites of her rifle?

3. If you could impregnate another politicians child, which one would it be?

4. When your son is older, are you going to teach him the fine art of famewhoring?

Thats about all I would ask him...the rest will be answered in the pages of PLAYGIRL.

God bless America.

This song goes out to you Levi Johnston, mostly because I will take any excuse I get to post this video...

Reader Comments (3)

That is the funniest song, is it real?

11-5-2009 | Unregistered Commenternatty

I don't care how mad people get at their own fathers. Unless your dad is Sadam or something, I'd rather have George Bush as a dad than this kid. His poor son. Unreal.

11-5-2009 | Unregistered CommenterJohn McLellan

Um Natty, what tipped you off that the song may not be real? The landline, the giant, brick-sized cell phones, the gangstas wearing cowrie shell necklaces, or the Ricky Lake Show reference on a TV with manual tuning knobs.

I assure you, it was real.

11-5-2009 | Unregistered CommenterAub

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