Monday Fantasy Smoke Break~Daisy (Jessica Simpson's Dog)
Sunday, June 21, 2009 
There isn't a soul in Hollywood that deserves a smoke break, more than Jessica Simpson's dog Daisy.
I mean seriously just look at her face, she is one step away from ending up in a gutter on hollywood boulevard licking peen for a buck. It would be better than playing accessory to someone who remembers her "maltipoo" but forgets her pants when she leaves the house. I suppose the lack of pants is to show off her sandals that are at least one size too small. Then again, she has some great legs so why not?
Do you see Daisy's face? If Daisy could talk she would be saying something like this: "Jessica, please fire your stylist, and stop "starring" in these B movies, it makes both of us look bad. You better be getting down on your knees for Romo every night because someone is going to have to pay for this shit when we go flat broke."
I'm pretty sure Daisy would say something of that nature. It's so sad to see an innocent living in that kind of torture.
Anyhoo, I'd get Daisy a martini let her shit in the yard like a real dog, and ask her the following questions:
1. Daisy, I know I talk shit about your owner a lot, but god she makes it so easy will you forgive me?
2. Does constantly being referred to as a Maltipoo, make you feel like you are betraying your mutt heritage?
3. Are you named after Daisy Duke from the original Dukes of Hazard? Or is it after your owner's shit show character in the movie?" Would you rather have had a name with some dignity like Sylvia or Estelle?
4. Does Joe Simpson creep you out?
5. Is Jessica pissed that when Ashley got her nose done she turned into the hot sister?
6. On a scale of 1-10 how dumb is she really? We all know the "dumb" thing can not be an act, we've all seen her acting skills.
7. Do you ever fantasize about having an owner who knows that "dog" is a furry little animal, not a handbag?
Then I would suggest to her that she call up London (Britney's dog) and Tinkerbell (Paris's dog) and they start some sort of rich bitch dog shelter and rehab center. Because you know that those dogs have turned to a life of booze and pills to cope with their master's fuckery.
Reader Comments (1)
Fuckery is such a good word to describe what they all do. Well said my friend, well said.