SIS with an Identity Crisis

Good Morning! Here is my column for this week, sorry it is a little short, I am still try to figure out my life... now that I don't have to go to work, I can't seem to get anything done on time!!

Today I am writing my column for the first time on location. Its 1pm on a Wednesday, and I am sitting in a hairdresser's chair. It is sunny outside, I worked out this morning,  and now I am pampering myself. Why? Because I can. I've been laid off.

And now that its happened to me I can say with great certainty that it is nothing like getting laid or like getting getting off... its more like when you are in high school and your boyfriend decides to dump you. Only this time the break-up up note is not "its not you, its me" this time the break up note is like "its not you, its not me, its due to the macroeconomic situation".  

Trust me, there are still the same awkward break-up moments such as the one where you go to your ex's house to collect all of your belongings, or you accidently start driving to work, because thats the only place you ever go.  Oh,  and there is that moment when you think that your employer will show up drunk outside your window, begging you to come back...

So far it hasn't happened.

So I am left to figure out how unemployment works. I heard you can do it completely online, which is a relief since because I don't want to miss any of my shows. The bigger issue however is how the hell do you go about finding a job in this shit sandwhich of an economy? Folks you thought being Single in Sanpoint sucked....why don't you try Unemployed in Sandpoint on for size?
Everyone keeps telling me not to take it personal, and that its going to turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. I remember when they told me that getting that job was the best thing that ever happened to me. How can a "laid off" person not take it personally. I mean seriously, I spent more time sitting in that cube than I have spent anywhere in my life, my ass is permanently enshrined in that office chair. They should have it bronzed. I spent more time at work than I did with my family and friends. I chose to have an corporate job over drinking, boating, laughing, living, and for what? Money and a title and a big fat lay off!!!
I'm such a capitalistic pig.
On the bright side, I don't have to sit in a cube anymore, I don't have to be any one's bitch anymore, and perhaps more importantly, I won't suffer from "noodle ass" any more.
Oh, you don't know what noodle ass is? Its the phenomena that happens when you have a desk job. You start out with a nice firm crunchy ass, and then you sit in a chair for 2 or so years, and all the suddden your ass is mushy and has a warm cheese consistency.
I'm hoping that my ass is just al dente and there is still hope for it.
That fact is that plenty of people have been fired this year, too many in fact. I'm still in a little bit of denial, and maybe a little relieved that I don't have to worry about it happening anymore. I don't have any suggestions yet on what to do with yourself, or how to make money out on your own. But I have time to figure those things out, and I hope you will all stay a long for the journey.
I'm taking a little trip this weekend. I'm going to spend some quality time looking for the answers to life's questions. I'm going to drink, dance, and make love to a bottle of Grey Goose, sweet, understanding won't lay you off or let you down Grey Goose!!

If you have any ideas on what I should do with my life feel free to leave me a comment!! I'm open to any suggestions that don't involve nudity or anything that has to do with punching holes or invoices... I have a little PTSD to get over!!

Thanks for your support!!

SQ