V is for Vagina, Valentines Day, and Very Long Weekend....
Monday, February 16, 2009 
I drove to Moscow this weekend to see the Vagina Monologues. A friend of mine was starring in it, her monologue was the one about a lady who keeps having accidental orgasms ( a concept that I do not understand because when the big O hits me, lets just say I see it coming). Nevertheless the woman goes to a masturbation teacher and she looks at her vagina in a mirror and then figures out where her pleasure button is, and has the big O on purpose.
In and of itself this monologue is pretty funny and a little awkward, watching my husband, her husband, and her brother in law show their support in the audience as she lifted her leg to get a good glance at her vagina in the mirror, was priceless. One laughed out loud, on gasped in sheer terror/awe, and the other covered his eyes for the remainder of the performance.
Here is the little shell vagina herself, I have to say she was one of the best, and seriously look at her rock those leggings. She was like a little flower in a garden of dark ambiguously sexed drama students. Please forgive the picture quality no flash photography was allowed...
The vagina people ask you the same questions every time and I thought it would be fun to answer them:
If your vagina could talk what would she say? Hmmm.... She would probably say the following: "no solicitors, and thank god you are afraid of waxing and hate underwear.
What would my vagina wear? Well I hate underwear, I have a severe affliction to anything tight...so underwear would not be on the list. She would probably wear a nice warm hoody with a pocketfull of sweedish fish....
What do I call my vagina? I don't really call her a name, but I do feel like she deserves one, coochie is too generic for such a good friend. I'm thinking something along the line of Ketel One.
I'm so tired, road trips really put me over the edge....
long weekends, vagina monologues, vaginas, yikes in My Life 
Reader Comments (2)
Let me guess, her husband gasped, her brother-in-law laughed out loud, and your husband squeezed his eyes shut...let me know if I'm right.
We sold chocolate Va' JJ's at BSU...actually really quality milk chocolate, not bad.
You are totally right, and they left at intermission....
They got real uncomfortable at the "angry vagina" performance...