Should I Start Saving For Their Therapy Now?
Friday, April 24, 2009 
I had a very odd conversation with my children last night. We were watching TV and the Oprah interview with Lorena Bobbit kept bouncing up in the advertisements. Feeling pretty confident that no one under the age of 10 knows what Ms. Bobbit did, I didn't think twice about it. Kids have a 6th sense about things that are inappropriate, if there is one thing I've learned being a mom that is it, because I didn't see the following conversation coming....at all.
3 Grader: Mom, what did Lorena do that was so bad, what?
Me: Nothing, seriously nothing.
3rd Grader: Why is she explaining on Oprah? What did she throw out the car window?
Me (believing honesty is the best policy): She got mad at her husband and decided to cut a body part off him.
3rd Grader (silent for a moment): What part?
Me: It doesn't really matter.
1st Grader (looking smug, enjoying her older sister's apparent naivete) I know what part.
Me (what the hell could she know?): You do? What is the part?
1st Grader: Can't say its a bad word.
Me (realizing I have to know what she thinks, I don't care if she cusses): Its OK, I promise you won't get in trouble just tell me what you think it is.
1st Grader (leaning in to whisper in my ear): NUTS.
Me: Did you say nuts?
1st Grader: Yeah, don't tell any body.
3rd Grader: Thats sick.
Me (laughing so hard I felt ill) Pretty close babe.
1st graders, intelligent child, miniature genius in My Life 
Reader Comments (5)
That would have ended John Wayne's adult career before it ever started. Maybe Lorena should have consulted with your little lady first.
Yeah if she didn't do that to John the porn world would never have had "Frankincock" what a great film......
Frankincock? Do they sell it on Amazon?
My 8th grade daughter asked me if I'd ever done anything like that. Nice.....
Had Lorena just stabbed the guy, it'd have been written off as one the five hundred domestic abuse cases a day. She made history with her handiwork, cuz rather than just impale the fucker, she made sure he'd have trouble peeing for eternity. What ever happened to people just getting along? Fuck it. I'm going to get another beer.