Stroller Strides, The Freakiest Thing I've Ever Seen
Friday, April 3, 2009 
I went for a stroll at the pier in Oceanside CA yesterday. It was pretty, there was a lot of surfers, pelicans and fishermen. Exactly what you would expect at a beach in Southern California.
There was one thing though that troubled me. There at the bottom of the ramp underneath the bridge to the pier, was a gang of ladies with strollers and babies. And by a gang I mean they rolled at least 30 deep. Each mother more decked out in her "walking" gear than the other. The average participant had bronze skin, perfectly coifed hair, a well dressed baby and an iphone. They had an actual instructor. The instructor took them through a series of "exercises" like pushing the stroller and stretching.
This means that they were paying to hang out at the beach with their baby, an activity that is normally free. I looked up this group on the internet to see what a class will run you, just out of curiosity. A "Stroller Strides" class will cost you $75 to register and then $54 a month for a membership. Classes generally meet 1-2 days a week. I guess thats pocket change for the opportunity to show off your flashy baby and firm ass to the other "Mommies".
The class itself doesn't bother me. Its the "mommy" thing. Have you ever had a friend that had a baby and all the sudden they didn't want to do anything un-mommy related? All the sudden their "baby-less" friends were not fit to hang out or work out with. They only want to have conversations about how often their kid shits or pumping breast milk. Its like a secret society. In order to belong you have to be willing to refer to yourself in 3rd person and talk like a deranged psycho.
Example:
"Hayden, who is mommeeee's big boooyeee?Can you stop pulling mommees hair? Pleazy poo? Oh, now we don't throw fits in big storreeeee. After strolla classy Mommeee will go tooo Trader Joe Joe's and get something to make your poopy soft"
Thats the kind of shit that scares me.
Misc... 
Reader Comments (3)
This cracks me up because in the burbs I see this all the time. I have given these ladies the nickname “Beautiful People”. They have the latest and greatest cars, clothes and their babies only own the top of the line everything. I have never seen the “Beautiful People” not looking beautiful. They even look beautiful working out, which is just wrong in my book. I take secret joy seeing one of their kids throwing a huge fit.
Love your blog....you sound like my son when he's sarscastic...which is most of the time..love it.
Thank you! Always glad to hear that people enjoy the blog....I'm such a feed back whore,
and Mrs. Suburban Bliss, the best part of the kids throwing the fits is to watch the mother try to control them while maintaining the position of the stick in her ass...