Frank The Entertainer in A Basement Affair Episode 2
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Today's episode of basement affair starts off, weird. Not just a little strange, like funny haha, but fucking weird. The girls are told that they are going to play "7 minutes in heaven" with frank in his basement. Only instead of making out and dry-humping like the original game, in this version you have 2 minutes to impress Frank with your non-sexual talents. His Mom is especially bitchy during this scene. She still hates Barfly Mandy and she apparently feels uncomfortable with what could possibly happen in the basement. To which I would say: LADY, HE SUCKED NEW YORK'S TOES, HOW MUCH WORSE COULD HE DO? REALLY?
This episode was especially trainwrecky for my girl Cathy. Let me tell you in a nutshell what went down with Ms. Nardone. First she was late to impress Frank. He pouted like a child cut her time short, and she hilariously tried to puppy dog eye him. It didn't work. Her almost "balloon" creation combined with her tardiness had already sent Frank over the edge. Later she decided to get shit faced and frolic in the hot tub, but in her drunken state she was more like a flounder than a graceful gazelle, and then she got LOUD. Frank tried to help her and she lost her mind a little and cried. Cathy...I don't know what to say. Don't mix your liquor? Maybe? She also decided to stage a coo against Renee. Cathy is annoyed that Renee is a kiss ass and a hater. Renee wrote a story about how there were "fake" people in the house that wanted to be models, and apparently it offended Cathy, so she went and told the others... Now the house is divided between people who hate Renee and those who haven't figured it out yet.
Frank liked Renee's story. Why? Does he not see that Renee has already named their children.... and is probably crafting a scrapbook bound by the pubes she found in his shower? She is a little too eager to please in my opinion, and quite frankly is coming off as psycho. Frank also appreciated Kerry's cupcakes (duh) and Felicia's personal story about her brush with breast cancer. He took those three on a budget date, and then made out with Renee. Now everyone hates her even more, and I'm sure she hasn't washed since her make out sesh with Frank.
Most of the other girls talents sucked. Jessica proved herself a complete nutbag in this portion of the program by putting on a pair of black leggings hiking them up to her tits pairing it with a bikini top, and then doing some sort of interpretive dance.
Fortunately for Cathy, all of her exploits were swept under the rug because Frank's mom's blind hatred for Barfly Mandy. Hit an all time high this episode. The Mom blames Mandy for everything, even the other girls behavior is somehow her fault. Perhaps the most ridiculous evidence of this is when his mother discovers vodka in the family water bottle. She points the finger at Mandy, and to her defense Mandy brilliantly replies: "Why would I put Vodka in a bottle I have a flask for that?" Then Mandy cusses out The Mom in some sort of foreign language, and I join in. I MEAN SERIOUSLY!!! WHO THE HELL LEAVES AN OPEN WATER BOTTLE ON THE SET OF A VH1 DATING SHOW, AND DOESN'T EXPECT IT TO BE FULL OF COMMUNICABLE DISEASE AND OR VODKA? GET A GRIP.
Anyway, The Mom threatens to halt production of the show if Frank doesn't kick Mandy off immediately. And because Frank realizes that Mandy is as nuts as his mother and has bad Juvederm, he kicks her off immediately.
Good By Mandy.
The rest of this episode is pretty dull. In the final elimination Frank gets down to the last two women: Cathy the chatty drunk and Jessica the girl interrupted. Let me paraphrase what he has to say:
"Cathy you are a bad drunk, we fight a lot and you talk too much, however I can still see myself sleeping with you. Jessica you are nuts, if I had to choose between sleeping with you and jerking the rest of my life...I would jerk. Jessica you are eliminated."
Sorry Jessica, you seemed like a happy soul:
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