Knocked Up-Confessions
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 So I dropped the pregnant bomb on ya'll last week and then I went MIA. I haven't had the same gusto lately, maybe its because I've had to cut coffee, redbull, lunch meat, soft cheese, and booze out of my life. You would think this would have a positive effect on my overall health and well being...so far all it has done is make me fat and pissed off.
I'm waiting for that glow thing to happen, so far no luck. If you are thinking about becoming pregnant a good idea would be to join a cult or some other faction of society where everyone is forced to eat boring food and stay sober, that way you don't feel left out. Also the probability of your husband/baby daddy thinking that its perfectly acceptable to call you at 1:00am for a ride from the bars is low to non existent.
Part of me considered showing photographic evidence of my rise to obesity, but then I looked at my face in the mirror and though to myself that I love you far to much to make you endure that. Best that you all remember me as I was.
Today, I wore a hood and sunglasses to Starbucks where I ordered an iced skinny latte, I paid in cash...took the back roads home. The surge of caffeine through my body was like the most powerful orgasm I have ever felt. Now as I burn the cup and get rid of all the evidence, I realize that it is possible to be married and pregnant and still take the occasional walk of shame.
Anyhoo if you would like to kick off this Tuesday morning with a confession of your own, leave me a comment. I won't feel so bad.
knocked up, knocked up confessions, my lfie in My Life 
Reader Comments (3)
I ran in to my OB at Starbucks when I was pregnant after I told her that I was not on the sauce. I am embarrassed to say, I ordered Cider......I am a total pansy...
I was drunk for 18 days straight while on tour in Minnesota, and I ate nothing but meat and cheese. Upon getting off the road, I've had no alcohol and salads for dinner every night. I figure I need at least 9 months to cleanse myself of my 18 day bender. So, I'm sober, caffeine free and eating veggies with you. (I know that's not really a confession, but it's moral support! Hope it helps.)
Hahah. I don't know whether to be jealous of you or thankful...but it does help. ha!