Back and Fat.

So anyway, I have taken like a month of from blogging. That is the luxury of blogging for yourself, I am the boss of me, and I can do as I please.

That means when I am 8 months pregnant and it is 90 degrees out, and I am working two other "jobs", I can put the blog in my to-do pile and say "when I get to it." I didn't mean for it to be such a long break but, you know how summer is.

The other problem is I don't know what to write about. I mean I am a little pre-occupied with my own situation to think about celebrities and  too pregnant to EVEN attempt something on my lay off list, I feel like my readers aren't really into pregnancy rants... lets face it I'M NOT INTO PREGNANCY RANTS. I'm so sick of talking about being pregnant and answering 10 times a day when I'm due BARF. Why? Why is it that the only thing people think a prego wants to talk about is being pregnant?

Then again... what else can I do? Right, I mean being pregnant is the only thing a pregnant person is allowed to do.

ICK. Can you tell I'm nearing the end only 49 days left?

I think thats long enough to clean my room and finishing steaming my carpets (again).

Anywhoo, instead of focussing on my irritants, today I am going to compose a list of things that I am looking forward to once I hit the finish line.

TOP TEN THINGS I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO AFTER GIVING BIRTH:

10. People will no longer call me "huge" to my face. Instead they'll quietly discuss what a lard ass I became.

9. When I get in and out of cars or walk up stairs it will no longer feel like the bottom of my pelvis is going to shatter into a million pieces and fall out of my vagina.

8. Peoples breath will no longer make me vomit in my mouth, sure it may still stink but I should be able to handle it with out the pregnancy super power of smell.

7. I will be able to eat hot wings, hot sauce, and other spicy foods with out crying all night as my stomach acid erodes my throat.

6. I will able to look at my skinny friends with a tolerable amount of hatred, instead of blinding jealousy.

5. Cashing in my designated driver credits.

4. My feet will no longer resemble salami logs with german sausage toes.

3. I can go to the gym, starbucks, amusement parks, bars, strip clubs, concerts, sushi restaurants, and use bleach to clean... with out any assholes telling me why I shouldn't.

2. Baby's smell good and they are snuggly... that's the flip side to a diaper full of shit and the ability to shatter glass with their cries.

1. Vodka. I can finally have a stiff drink, and I no longer will have to watch others with their flat stomachs and normal feet party while I wait to drive them home.

 I am going to make a promise to ya'll that I will start posting more, but don't hate me if I don't. I will still be thinking about The Whoracle, and how I can make it better this winter.  I promise. If you have any suggestions send them in.

XOXO

SQ

Comments

[Aub]

Forgot to post how excited I am for da babe ... most beautiful, precious babe in the world is almost here! Hang in there! Sending good thoughts ..

[New Era Hats]

Generally I do not post on blogs, but I would like to say that this post really forced me to do so, Excellent post!