Tonight was Disco night on American Idol, and I decided to take notes and write a little recap. Why? Because I love American Idol, and quite frankly I don’t know what else to write about. Disco night is normally a train wreck for Idol but tonight it was actually decent.
First up we had Lil Rounds who did her best Chaka Kahn impression while wearing a one peice spandex pant suit. The song was predictably “I’m Every Woman” she sang it well, but for what ever reason, the judges seem to hate her. She has never, ever gotten a positive review from the them and at this point its just sad. I really hope she goes home tomorrow so that she can finally be put out of her misery. On the downside, we won’t be able to see what wig she wears next week, that is a bummer.
Second we had Kris Allen. He did a Santanaesque version of “She Works Hard For The Money”. I liked it. I wish people would start giving this guy a little more credit and quit hanging off of Danny Gokey’s nut sack. Seriously, Kris is original (I feel like Danny Gokey is an older, sadder version of David Archeletta). In a perfect world Kris would make it to the finals.
Next came Danny Gokey in a miniature jacket. Who dresses him? Gokey needs a jacket that hits past his waist band end of story. He sang “September” and he sang it well. I was bored. The judges liked it. I know it angers many people when I say bad things about him, but this is my blog, and I don’t have to love everyone. OK. Apparently though Paula Abdul mixed her Xannax with viagra and managed to get a boner during his performance, because in her critique her eyes rolled back into her head and she said his voice was seeexxxxyyyyyy. I automatically imagined them doing it, then wished I hadn’t. Imagining people do it is a really bad habit of mine.
In the fourth time slot we had Allison Iraheta. She started out her performace laying across a stair case moaning out the song "Hot Stuff". I like her. She has a great gritty rock and roll voice. I would however like to see a copy of her birth certificate because I find it increasingly hard to believe that she is 16. Also I am inclined to believe that her stylist and Gokey’s are the same because she was also wearing a doll sized jacket from the 80’s. I really think this stylist is a dick.
Next the hands of Christ dropped down Adam Lambert. He sang “If I Can’t Have You” but he disregarded his disco roots and sang the song in a sad, pleading ballad style. At this point Adam could probably sing the theme song to the Golden Girls, and people all over the world would praise him for his originality. Adam is my favorite I’m not going to lie. He excites me. I look forward to his performances every week. Its just kind of boring when there is a contestant that is so clearly better than everyone else, almost like its not fair. The judges are obsessed with him as well. In her second drug addled performance of the night Paula tried her hardest to cry during his performance but I think she had allready blown her wad during Gokey’s so her efforts were futile. If Adam doesn’t make it to the final two it won’t be worth watching.
In the unfortuneate spot of performing after Adam, Matt came next. He sang “Staying Alive”. He smartly wore a hat to cover that weird boil on the middle of his forhead. I thought he did good so did the majority of the judges. Simon didn’t like it. Oh well, I don’t think he’ll make it farther than the top 4 but we’ll see.
Last was Anoop. He sang “Dim The Lights” and it was fitting because thats exactly what I wanted to do. It was so boring... I just stared, mesmerized at his eyebrows, wondering if he waxes or plucks. Simon hated it, the others liked it, blah blah blah.
In closing I would predict that Lil Rounds and Anoop are going home.
In my wildest fantasy Lil Rounds and Gokey go home.
Monday, November 23, 2009 
