J-TOE

OK, if you have spent even a smidgen of time on this website, you will know that I talk a lot  about camel toes. More than a normal person should. 

Any-I'll-blog-about-whatever-I-want-way....I never made any claims to normalcy, sanity, organic living,  or any other boring trappings of American life.  So talk about camel toes is going to occur: NOW.

J-LO what the fuck? You have all the money in the world; you rub the cream of rare exotic animal placentas all over you body, and you have the "balls"  to show up to a NEW YEARS party in TIMES SQUARE, in this outfit. An outfit that looks like a bobsledding outfit took a figure skating outfit out for drinks and made an embarrassingly sheer and unflattering offspring.

Perhaps even more disturbing is the lack of a complete camel toe, at first it looked like her crotch was basically like Barbie. I was a bit drunk when the performance aired but I remember having the distinct thought: Maybe J-Lo just went ahead and had her vulva removed?!! Maybe thats what is in style now.... first there is the Brazillian waxing and the WAR on PUBIC HAIR.  Maybe we haven't tortured our vaginas enough? Maybe now we sand them down to a perfectly smooth nub.

Then I thought... maybe she's wearing a Cuchini. If so cheers to their maker, she looks totally androgynous. 

In the second picture though, there is the humble beginnings of a camel toe. I could be wrong but I think the hand gesture in the crowd  is actually the international sign for  "VISIBLE VAGINA". There is an extra finger though... so its sort of like the shocker, maybe? Maybe I don't recognize its origin because it's for rich people or "from the block" .... Somebody please enlighten me.

Finally an Answer For Camel Toe Sufferers...

The Cuchini.

This little wonder product apparently solves today's camel toe epidemic. 

Why are camel toes worse than ever, you might ask?

Well its because women are shaving and waxing the hell out of their beave's. This causes a loss in the natural cushion a bush provides between your lips and your pants. Hence the camel toe outbreak.

You must check out the site. You can even send them "anonymously" to some one.

Oh, and there is this certain catalog company out their that sells Mom jeans and other high waisted camel toe inducing ensembles. I'm not allowed to say their name because, um well, I'm just not. Anyway, they should give Cuchini's away complimentary with each pair of pants sold.

Lastly, I'd just like to thank the inventors of the Cuchini, after all we all need to do our part for camel toe prevention. Let me leave you with a favorite video of mine..."The Camel Toe Song"