Frank The Entertainer in A Basement Affair Episode 8:
Monday, March 1, 2010 The Crushing Crusher Gets Crushed.
Note: Sorry to all of you who follow this blog, the last two weeks have required me to wake up at a the ungoldy hour of 4:30 AM on Monday mornings, and just the THOUGHT of waking up that early ruins my entire Sunday. NEVER FEAR though, the torture ended today. And I will be covering the remainder of the episodes in a prompt manner.
OK, so because I didn't post last week, it is important to know two things:
1. Annie, the strange artist that looks like Blossom, got sent home last week. Why? Because she did an ex rated rap... Apparently Frank and his family have issues with any body but Frank being a pervert.
2. Dana is the new Cuntess of Cuntington on the show. As she completely lost her shit on Melody because Melody doesn't kiss her ass enough. Also, I'm not sure if they are just editing the shiz out of her conversations with her mother. But it sounds like this mother daughter duo have possibly starred on Jerry Springer....Dana is a complete bitch when Frank and his parents are not around. The other contestants have diagnosed her as having an anger issues.
So now that you are caught up. Episode 8 starts out with a challenge. The girls have to write a "screen play" of what their lives with Frank would be like.
This was kind of a dumb challenge. In a nutshell the challenge was based on a game we all played as children. Remember when you were a kid and your extended family all got together? You and your cousins bored to tears, and long before the days of the Nintendo DS, were forced to use your imaginations. Typically this leads to making up plays in a desperate attempt to captivate adult attention. During the performance of these plays the adults all sit and politely watch~knowing that applauding and cheering too hard will just encourage more plays, but ignoring them all together may cause damage to young fragile psyche's... but deep inside the parents are wishing they were at the bottom of a bottle of grey goose...maybe that's just me. Ahem. Regardless, this is the general tone of the challenge. Frank's parent's sit in polite torment as they watch their son's poorly planned and imaginary futures unfold.
Anyway, Melissa the Crusher (if you don't recall her special talent is crushing beer cans between her boobs) tries to be funny by making her play about insane family dynamics and out of control children~it scares Frank and irritates his parents. The other plays were pretty dull~ EXCEPT FOR MY GIRL CATHY'S. Cathy took her play to a another place as she decided to concentrate on her and Frank's love life. By the looks of it, Frank and Cathy will spend their days and nights in the bedroom. GOOD CALL CATHY. Everyone knows that a smart potential wife entraps her prey husband, with masterful sex skills. Seriously what dude wouldn't want to see a future full of sex with a hot chick?
However, Frank seemed to think Kerry's version of the future was the most um, I don't know. I think he just wanted to take her on a solo date. Her play seemed sort of ass kissy to me. Sorry. Anyway, their date was pretty boring, and their conversation wasn't exactly what I would call deep or lively...
Back at the house Dana continued to verbally assault Melody at every chance. Even going as far as to question her ability to have children at her advanced age of 35, in front of Frank's parents. Now, Dana, seriously? You think 35 is an old lady? FRANKS IN HIS 30's, for one thing and um, in case you haven't noticed people are having children well into their 40's these days. THEY CAN GET A MAN PREGNANT for GOD SAKES, I'm sure 35 year old woman won't have that much trouble. GROW UP. All the contestants are sick of her and her stank attitude.
When eliminations come around. Frank takes a poll, asks all of the girls who they think should go home...everyone says Dana, except Dana and Melissa. Dana of course says Melody, and Melissa in a stupid attempt to be neutral says Felicia?! Now Melissa, you've been playing all sides, talking secret shit, starting fights....this is going to bite you in the crushers. And of course, it does.
Its down to Melissa and Dana for eliminations and Frank essentially keeps Dana around for ratings. I don't think he was ever attracted to Melissa...and he claims to think Dana is hot, honestly I doubt he's interested in either one of them.
So the crusher is sent back to Minnesota.
Good Bye Crusher, find yourself a nice pabst swilling country boy. Ya'll would be so much happier together!









