Coincidence? I hardly think so.

Ok. So today I get an email stating that  Michelle Duggar is pregnant with her 19th child. On the very same day, I get an email about the chupacabra capture in Texas. Some people might think this was merely a coincidence. Not me.

I'm pretty sure that chupacabra was on his way from Mexico to God's Country or Tontitown, Arksansas (where the Duggars live) to rescue Michelle's vagina. Somebody has to. That poor vagina has withstood more pain and suffering than a vagina should have to. The authorities should have done something about it after her 8th or 9th child, but leave it to the cops to go around treating vaginas like second class citizens...

Any-vaginas-are-not-subway-stations-way, the chupacabra was doing the noble thing, and a family of hillbillies drugged him and took him to the taxidermist. Fucked up if you ask me. 

In other news, I'm terrified now. I always knew that chupacabras existed I just thought that they showed up after a bottle of tequila and a moustache ride. I didn't know they skulked around barns looking for goats and shit. Gross.