Frank The Entertainer in A Basement Affair Episode 1
Sunday, January 3, 2010 OK, so as you know I'm going to be recapping "A Basement Affair" on VH1. My castmate from ISAJGS: Cathy is on it, I think it will be funny. So probably every sunday night for the next 9 weeks or something...I will post about this show.
The show is another VH1 version of the Bachelor, everyone knows that VH1 dating shows are far more interesting than the ones on ABC...due to the fact that there are more sluts, possible fist fights, and the nagging fear that someone may contract crabs. Oh, and the comedic possibilities are endless because a VH1 "bachelor" is usually a D-List celebrity and the contestants fail to understand this crucial point at every turn. If you want more details on this show consult VH1 or my original post:HERE.
A cast photo for reference, and then I will begin:
So we start out the show, and Frank and his parents are living at their house. Frank lives in the basement, his parents are ashamed that at 30 something, he is still on the tit. At least there are two people on this show that seem to be in their right mind. The ladies show up, and they are all.. sort of surprised I suppose that they won't be getting shit faced and pole dancing in some random mansion. Instead they will be living with Frank's parents and following rules....etc.
The first thing they have to do is meet Frank and his parents and take a family picture with them. In a nutshell the girls all seemed to be from the New York or Chicago area... and brunette. There was one blonde but she was Asian and I feel like that somehow made it OK, I don't think Frank likes blondes. Or maybe we don't like him? Food for thought.
Surprisingly the girls were far less slutty than the average VH1 show, and I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not. During this little get-to-know-your-future-possible-daughter-in-law-wife-fuck buddy/ whatever a few girls stood out. The first girl to shock me was Ann. She appeared completely miss-casted as she did not have "the look" the other girls had, meaning she had really weird chopped "art school" bangs and the MOST HORRIFYING flowered stretch pants I HAVE EVER SEEN. They were high waisted and had flowers on them, and she had a crop top on too. I started getting the sensation of vomit and a headache all at once. Then she spoke and she was so nice, so normal. It made me feel like a straight bitch. Frank was like "she's not really my type" and I felt bad for her. Even his parents recognized that something was really fucking terribly off about her outfit.
Anne From " A Basement Affair"
This is her bio-pic from VH1, maybe she is just comforted by the high waisted pant... Maybe? Regardless, I can't look out her with out thinking of the sitcom Blossom.
At some point it was Cathy's turn, and um... she was talking and talking, and then talking. And all Frank and his parents could say about her was that she talked too much. Fair enough, but if you only had like 3 minutes to meet someone and their family, well maybe you'd try to fit in a lot of info too right? Cathy can do no wrong in my book.... I'm also betting a good sum of money that she is the girl that puts "Vodka" in the water bottle on next week's episode. I feel like a proud mother. Now tell me that Vodka was Grey Goose, and I might actually weep tears of joy.
Anyway, other notable characters were Mandy, who looked about 40 and had the worse Juvederm I've ever seen. Mandy pissed the Mom off right away, and their hatred for each other is likely to be a main story line of the show. She lives in her parents attic, and I'm fairly sure she moonlights as a bar fly smoking no less than two packs of Marlboro reds a day. Also, please look at the cast picture above. NO ONE is standing by her, they all sense that she is a freak. Predictably Frank keeps her. One can only presume this is to insure the drama stays high.
The show was really sort of uneventful, too early to really hate any of them, and also too early for any really good drama.
In the end, Frank sent a weird "model" who might have been an android home, and the nice girl from Chicago. The nice girl never stood a chance, I seriously think that she might have been a virgin or something, as unlikely as that is on VH1.
Good bye model good bye nice girl.
