Teachers Have it Worse Than Corporate Whores?

I've been substitute teaching for the past few days. It's really an eye opener. When my children are in high school I expect that I will need various medications, especially one that cancels out the desire to kill your own young, and one that allows you to go into a safe catatonic state whenever they speak about social hierarchy.  

Have you ever been to a club in Vegas? The same exact principals that govern a night club are present on a high school campus. There are patrons that come just to get laid, there are those that attend strictly to be seen in their best clothes, there are those who want to fight, there are some who attend strictly to sell drugs,  there are those who receive preferential treatment for whatever reason, and then there is the small percentage who attend these to dance/learn. It hasn't changed that much since my high school days.

Except for one thing.

Technology. Today's high schooler comes equipped with a cell phone, ipod, lap top, smokeless cigarettes, debit card, wonder bra, and attitude. Adults are no longer just dorks with antiquated ideas about sex and recreational drugs. Adults/parents are now regarded as completely stupid and incapable of  basic communication skills. Oh, I hear all of you 30-somethings out there going "I have a cell phone/laptop/ipod I am totally with it." YOU ARE NOT. Trust me.  Most likely you have never had a completely cellular relationship... teenagers have had several. Don't laugh. They may never have actually been on a physical date with this other person but both have seen each other nude. Yes, these days teens can actually have some sort of sex with each other with out ever touching the person.  

A teen can sum up your geekness with a few quick observations about your cell etiquette: What kind of phone do you have? Do you text with your keypad or expanded sideways texting (whatever that is actually called)? Do you use your phone to have actual conversation? Don't even try to fit in, these little assholes are mocking you, they have never even known a time when the internet didn't exist.

Thats why I think teachers might have it worse than corporate whores. I never thought I would say that...as a CW I was always jealous of a teachers extensive time off. Now I am sure that the time off is probably one of the only perks to dealing with the pure mocking disgust of the teenagers 9 months out of the year. Its enough to give anyone a complex. At least in a corporation the more you kiss ass the farther you will climb, in a high school ass-kissing is recognized as a sign of weakness that the children will exploit until you are fired and/or involved in a law suit. 

It makes sense to me now why some of my teachers were completely insane. You have to be at least mildly insane to take the job in the first place. As a substitute, you can be vaguely unaware or fake ignorance...I can't imagine keeping a watchful eye one those sneaky little bastards full time...