Last week I completed number 5 on my lay-off list. If you would like to review the contents of this list it is conviently located to your right.                                                                                                                                                                 San Felipe

#5 Go On A Road Trip

 It wasn't exactly what I envisioned when I made this goal, but I was a passenger in an automobile that traveled 1380 miles and spanned two countries last week. We drove from San Felipe Mexico to San Diego then to Las Vegas on to Boise and then home sweet home Sandpoint. We put in 24 hours on the road. And spent the majority of our trip sober. I would say that qualifies as the mother fucker of all road trips. So I marked it off, 1 down 9 to go.

I am open to taking part in another road trp, but next time I plan to drive no more than 3 hours at a time. I also plan on peppering my travel with more drinking and sleeping.Heaven

I also plan on going with my girlfriends. I'm not saying that I didn't like the company on my last road trip. My betrothed is an excellent companion and very good driver. I have never known anyone in my life that likes to drive as much as he does. He has driven from Sandpoint to Florida. He doesn't even consider it a drive unless its more than 15 hours. He routinely says things to me like "What its just an 8 hour drive?" And HE NEVER LETS ME DRIVE, EVER. The truth is I'm not on his level yet. He is a professional. I have only achieved the Junior Varsity Team status.

I did gain some insight on this trip. I have a new appreciation for my North Idaho upbringing. My ability to pee outdoors is a skill that has been put to use on every road trip I've ever been on. Why? Because I do not go in porta potties. Its not because I'm a germophobe. My reasoning is very sound. Have you ever been in a porta potty when there wasn't a pile of diarhea staring at you from the pit? You have to look at it, because it is necessary to look at the seat before you sit. You have no choice but to look in there. In order for me to be able to use a porta potty I would have to be able to navigate its terrain with my eyes shut and nose plugged, and quite frankly I'm not that talented.

I also learned a valuable lesson: one of the major requirements of a road trip is torture. Sometimes its the car breaking down, and having to push it to the next gas station. Other times it is listening to the "driver's" same playlist 5,000 times. And in the worse of times someone barfs. Those are the memories that last. 

the thermometer

The best road trip stories are not about seeing the worlds largest thermometer located in Death Valley, or the beautiful pristine beaches in San Felipe. The stories that we tell again and again will be about teaching  my daughters how to pee outside, and finding out that the man I sleep next to every night secretly loves the song "Fergalicious"