Those Mother Fuckers

Daisy in happier times, accompanying her master on a" walk of shame."

I live in the woods...in North Idaho. Every night I hear the wicked howling of satan's minions (known to the masses as coyotes). I really hate those assholes and considering the fact that I am an animal lover, its odd that I do a little cheer every time I hear a shot gun in the middle of the night, because I know one of my luscious red neck neighbors has just snuffed one out.

If you think I am a barbarian oh well. I'm from North Idaho and thats how we roll. 

To get to the point though. Jessica Simpson's Maltipoo Daisy, whom I've written about before (here) was snatched out of Jessica's California home's yard a couple nights ago and hasn't been seen since. Instead of getting a gun, or chasing those fucks down, Jessica twittered about it. Now, somebody needs to check her birth certificate because, seriously...there is no way in hell that broad is from Texas. It's a disgrace to her birth place. Did she not have a fence or a gun, or a body guard? Isn't a hand gun issued to Texans the day they are born?

If a coyote came into my yard and snatched up my PUG, I would hunt them down and get my fucking dog back.  

Anyway, Jessica is plastering her neighborhood with "missing" posters because she believes that Daisy will be returned. She's hired a pet locator or some shit... ridiculous. Someone needs to sit Jessica down and explain to her that: MUCH LIKE HERSELF, COYOTES CAN'T READ. They didn't take Daisy for ransom, they took her for "the 4th meal". 

Anyway, it makes me sick, because I believe Daisy had more talent and depth in her tiny body than her owner will have in a life time.

RIP Daisy, you've always been my favorite celebrity accessory.