Jessica Simpson: WHO IS YOUR PR PERSON?

I pick on Jessica Simpson...A lot on this blog. I can't help it. She make it so DAMN EASY. 

Its not right.

So um, she doesn't brush her teeth. She farts under the sheets, and she only washes her hair when it smells bad. And all this time people keep making fun of her for being fat. Bitch is not fat...she is nasty. I say that with a mixture of disgust and respect. 

Apparently all these new revelations about her hygiene are an attempt to make her relatable. WHO THE FRICKETY FRACK is responsible for this? She was already relatable...most women have put on the pounds and got dumped by professional athlete. I went through that milestone when I was in my early twenties. Then you drop the weight make a comeback~ date another dude and get fat again.... seriously its the circle of life.  

We need to stop blaming her unlucky in love status on the extra pounds and focus on the teeth and farting thing...dude you never start farting in bed till you've got the rock!!!

Do YOU HEAR THAT YOUNG LADIES secure the ROCK BEFORE you start crop dusting his ass. Its like she hired Roseanne for her PR person.

Somewhere out in celebrity has-been land Nick Lachey rocks himself in the fetal position wondering how he ever made it out.

A Song About The Walk Of Shame

This song is sure to be the anthem of proud sluts everywhere. 

The song is basically about picking a dude up at the bar and then going home with him and having "spectacular sex". One of the lyrics? "Ass up, clothes off, broke off, dozed off." We get all these vignettes of her and the guy doing the mating ritual of Jose Cuervo between images of her popping her coochie  next to the railroad tracks.

Best part of this whole thing? The singer used to be in the Cheetah Girls. Yes, the Cheetah Girls a Disney musical act. Hahahah. Why do Disney starlets turn to a life of coke whorary once their contracts are up? I mean they are all virgins until they quit the Disney channel and then all the sudden their panties drop and they start singing things like "I think he pulled my track out when he was blowing my back out." I guess with out Disney around to safe guard their virginity these little Disney Ho's lose their minds.

The other disturbing part of this song, um I don't think I know what qualifies as spectacular sex these days. I mean if I found myself in the position of walking down the street missing a chunk of hair worried about whether or not I contracted an STD I would consider that a bad night.  To each his own though right?