Sac Tapping Epidemic

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Ok, so I've never really understood why guys are always trying to touch each other's nuts. I guess they get bored of fondling their own every 10 minutes or so, so the natural progression is to go for someone else's. I didn't realize that it was an epidemic though! Intense.

I do know it can be dangerous, because I've "accidentally" tapped my husband. He was not amused. Also I substitute at a high school and there is soooo much sac tapping going on it seems as common as waving hello. I guess some people are just way too heavy handed to be going around giving out sac taps because they are destroying lives and balls everywhere.

I found this video on my brother's facebook page, my brother is 31 and I think he still takes part in an occasional sac tapping. Oh, well boys will be boys. 

Note to self: purchase tiny jock strap and cup for new baby.

Petco is Nuts.

I went to Petco yesterday. Had to hit the rawhide bar for my millions of dogs.

I was walking past the rat cages, when I heard two little kids excitedly yelling about the rats.

The little boy said "He's giving birth, oh, yep he's totally giving birth".

I didn't want to miss the miracle of life, so I walked over. Sure enough the rat was giving birth, not to baby rats. He was sitting on top of his enormous testicles.

I started laughing so hard, I couldn't stop.

One of the employees asked me what I was laughing at.

I stated  "Oh that little boy over there thinks a rat is giving birth. Only its not a baby its his nuts."

Apparently "nuts" is not an OK word at Petco. A random lady berated me for my choice of language. I think she thought even less of me when I asked her if it would have been more appropriate for me to say "scrotal sack." 

My mother is never going shopping with me again. 

But seriously? When did "nuts" become profane?

Sock Your Favorite Dude In The Nuts...

Today is Man Day.

The idea was started by two Indiana men, Aaron and Joel Longanecker. According to their Facebook event page, there are more than 73,000 planning on celebrating the day. The day is supposed to be a day to "stand up as a man" and "watch Rocky movies all day" and "scratch yourself" and shoot animals. 

Um, I'm pretty sure the men in North Idaho have been celebrating this shit for years, there is no lack of nut scratching animal killers here.

They've added a few things like "be a good father" and "buy your wife flowers". Again, things that a man should do everyday. Well maybe not the flower thing, a good man would bring his wife expensive vodka and/or Starbucks cards. But thats neither here nor there.

To make a long story short though, GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK.

 OH, and here is a video about douche bags, its funny and I believe some how related.