How To Make A Peen~ata...
Monday, May 25, 2009 
Have you ever tried to find the perfect bachelorette party game? Maybe you lived in the middle of no where and there were no stores around that carried penis novelties.
If you have found your self in this predickament, I have the answer for you: make a peenata. You will need flour, water, a condom, two balloons, newspaper, flesh colored paint, duct tape, and contents for your pinata: anything remotely perverse will do I went to Walmart and filled my cart with lube, condoms, hershey kisses, skanky underwear, blind folds, etc...
It was very awkward buying these things. Especially when the 19 year old cashier told me "not to be embarrassed: old people buy condoms all the time" not sure if he thought I was old or noticed my face was red and my eyes were watering from embarrassment. Just in case he was insinuating that I was old I said: "fuck you" swiped my card and got the hell out of there.
Anyway, next you can start building your penis.
1. Build the armature: use an unlubricated condom for the shaft, and then duct tape the balloons on for balls.
2. Next, you will mix water and flour together until the mixture is soupy, dip strips of newspaper into the flour/water mix and cover the balloons thoroughly. You will need several layers to make your penis hard. After the first layer you can create a head buy using several strips of newspaper around the tip, and then covering over with more gooey paper strips. No one likes a flacid penis, so it is worth the extra times to make several layers of newspaper, you have to make sure each layer is basically dry before you add the next, this can take several hours, or 1-2 days...
3. After you have achieved the desired girth and hardness you can begin painting, you can add pubes when the paint is drying and they will stick, we used easter grass, you can use whatever you'd like.
4. Once the paint has dried cut a flap in the bottom of the shaft and stuff with your party favors, then tape the flap shut. We filled the balls with shaving cream, again you can freestyle however you would like. We also used a blow dryer to speed along the drying process.
We did not have adequate drying time, so our penis became flacid after we stuffed it. The penis needed to dry another day, but we didn't have time. Instead of hanging the pinata, we had the bachelorette ride it, until it broke, then she could retrieve her prizes:
The easiest way to hang the peenata is to cut two slits in the top and thread a rope through them. If you made your penis hard and strong enough, you will be able to hang it.
If you have anymore questions about making penis or tit pinata's go ahead and email me. I'm thinking about starting a side business.
Slinging paper mache peens....
