OH, HELL NO.

I've said it here before, and I'll say it again. I don't like birds. In my mind they are pure evil. Birds are basically monsters, equiped with sharp claws, beaks, wings, and a small brain incapable of mercy. I've never understood people who "love" birds and want to "watch" them.

Here's the deal "bird watchers": these little fucks will shit on you, peck you, and wake your ass up at 5AM with their "singing". Their AM singing, by the way, is nothing more than them calling all the creatures of the night back to hell for Satan. So my suggestion...stay indoors until it stops.

Any-birds-are-fucking-scary-way, I came accross this terrifying footage of turkeys loosing their minds and attacking some people. Listen to the screams off camera.

Normally I love a good "animal attack" video. This one brings me no comfort, as I take it very personally. You see,  there is a mother turkey and her bazillion babies that love to kick it on my road. I used to think they were sort of "cute" because turkeys don't get their ugly for a few months.  Their heads are always fucked up, but they do have a soft and fluffy stage. Now I see that when they get a little older they are going to try to pick my kids off their bikes and attack anything that moves. Great.