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LAY-OFF LIST

1. Ride a mechanical bull.

2. Be a groupie and get a backstage pass. (not the slutty kind, just the kind that loves the music)

3. Go camping, real camping.

4. Get tattoo

5. Take road trip.

6. Go skinny dipping.

7. Write that book.

8. Take over a dive bar.

9. Participate in open mic night.

10. Find a job, that I love.

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Entries in vagina abuse (2)

Thursday
04Feb2010

Um, holy shit.

DateThursday, February 4, 2010

If you want to see the most amazing booty shaking I've ever seen in my life please forward to 1:14 on this vid.

Yeah, my vagina is crying sympathy tears, and I think I threw my back out just imagining trying it.  

 There is also this weird side of me that feels like maybe watching this video and enjoying it makes me a bad person. So conflicted. I don't know where these feelings are coming from but I think that it might be because I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks... just guessing.

Nonetheless, it is amazing.

AuthorScarlette | Comment6 Comments |
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Wednesday
02Sep2009

Coincidence? I hardly think so.

DateWednesday, September 2, 2009

Ok. So today I get an email stating that  Michelle Duggar is pregnant with her 19th child. On the very same day, I get an email about the chupacabra capture in Texas. Some people might think this was merely a coincidence. Not me.

I'm pretty sure that chupacabra was on his way from Mexico to God's Country or Tontitown, Arksansas (where the Duggars live) to rescue Michelle's vagina. Somebody has to. That poor vagina has withstood more pain and suffering than a vagina should have to. The authorities should have done something about it after her 8th or 9th child, but leave it to the cops to go around treating vaginas like second class citizens...

Any-vaginas-are-not-subway-stations-way, the chupacabra was doing the noble thing, and a family of hillbillies drugged him and took him to the taxidermist. Fucked up if you ask me. 

In other news, I'm terrified now. I always knew that chupacabras existed I just thought that they showed up after a bottle of tequila and a moustache ride. I didn't know they skulked around barns looking for goats and shit. Gross.

 

AuthorScarlette | Comment3 Comments |
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